Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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