thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
