Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize