i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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