don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
His hands were made for my vagina.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize