That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
