Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
