we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize