I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
