She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
