The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize
