her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
