Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
