He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
