I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
