mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
