Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
