I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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