so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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