I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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