I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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