You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
