i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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