That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just cropdusted the office
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
