WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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