if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
