Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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