Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
