An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
