I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
