Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
