just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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