last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it was like eating out sand paper
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you never un-have a 4some
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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