I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
