i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
