i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
