I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
