I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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