Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
