Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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