Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
