I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize