Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
