I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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