My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize