what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
