fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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