'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
