In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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