he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
