I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This house was built for laser tag.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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