You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize