He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
