We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
