Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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