so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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