32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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