I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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