I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
